Today is October 20th, 2024. The last two months have been very interesting for me. Coming back into my own classroom after a long time has been both rewarding and eye-opening. Yet amidst all the excitement, I found myself in a strange emotional space; a mix of pride and uncertainty. How could I feel both fulfilled and disconnected at the same time?
The Confusing Feelings Behind Success
Every day, I walk into my classroom with joy, designing lessons with my students in mind. I create a space for them to thrive, arranging chairs just right, ensuring they have what they need, and paying attention to the smallest details. Despite my enthusiasm and deep connection to teaching, there was still something I couldn’t name.
At first, I was hard on myself for feeling this way. How could I long for something, achieve it, and still feel unsure?
After some honest conversations with people I trust, I realized I needed to be gentler with myself. They reminded me that mixed feelings are natural, that growth rarely follows a linear path, and that uncertainty can be part of moving forward. That wisdom gave me clarity and inspired me to write a letter to myself, as a reminder to pause and reflect.
Dear Me,
It’s fine to feel what you’re feeling right now. You’ve worked hard and achieved meaningful things. Success often brings mixed emotions – pride, excitement, and sometimes uncertainty. You may not always know exactly how to feel, and that’s okay. Life isn’t always about one emotion at a time.
When things happen quickly, it can be hard to pause and process. New roles bring new pressures, and it’s natural to feel both motivated and overwhelmed. Instead of pushing past these feelings, give yourself time through journaling, reflection, or simply breathing. Clarity often comes when you stop chasing it.
Be kind to yourself. You don’t need to have it all figured out right now. Trust that feeling unsure is part of the journey. Growth is rarely straightforward. Give yourself the space to experience it all. Every step, every feeling matters.
Forever Learning,
Myself
Embracing Growth and Self-Awareness
That act of writing helped me pause and reflect. If you’ve ever felt that mix of excitement and uncertainty after achieving something you worked hard for, know that it’s normal. Growth often comes from discomfort. I’m choosing to move forward with self-awareness, continuing to build a classroom where students feel supported, where I feel at home, and where growth, for them and for me, is always possible.
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